Information For Fathers
So many folks call and talk about having a doula at their birth. Then comes the hesitancy; their husband/partner has to be okay with it, and he's not. Most men are NOT comfortable in hiring a birth doula; the cost, the unknown of just what a doula is/does deters most men from agreeing and supporting to have one. Here's a guy's view on why having a doula at a birth really helps both parents:
"In many ways, the Doula is your Riker. Your back-up. Your support. The Doula provides emotional support; suggests and uses different techniques such as breathing, relaxation, movement and positioning to aid in labor and delivery; provides information to mom and dad throughout; helps mom (and dad) become informed about various birth choices; provides an advocacy voice for mom and acts as a liaison between the mother and the care provider; and—beautifully, wonderfully, thankfully—provides reassurance and comfort to the mother (first and foremost) but also to dad or partner.
Remember how tired you are now on information overload? Add hours of labor, pained moans and groans (hers, not yours), hip pressing, watching and hearing vomiting (don’t worry, it mayhappen, but that’s okay). So, it’s fine to admit it—a bit of support would be nice.
But why is she wanting a doula? Does she not believe in you? Does she think you don’t have what it takes? Have you failed already?!?! NO. Absolutely not. Birthing is one of the most beautiful, miraculous, and terribly difficult things she will ever experience. Thing is, the birth experience goes far beyond pushing a person out. It’s not simply physical.
Birth—labor and delivery—is extremely emotional for mom. Any hang-ups—guilt about not asking mom to be there, unhappy that the nursery isn’t quite finished, sad that the perfect “first outfit” was never bought—all of these things can throw a wrench into the incredible machine that is her body and make getting baby from there to here more difficult. And that’s not even figuring in time! What if she goes into labor at 1 AM after you’ve just gone to bed and had a terribly long day beforehand? And what if labor then lasts for hours…and hours…and hours?
Doulas are trained for this. They are prepared, ready, willing, and able to be right at mom’s side for the duration of the journey. They are the Superman, Wonder Woman, and (insert favorite comic character here) of the birthing team. They are the Gatorade, the Powerbar, the fire hose at mile 9—for mom AND for you. They summon up a tremendous energy and ability to help everyone stay focused, positive- minded, and as comfortable as possible as baby makes its way from womb to world."
If you work crazy hours, have a huge commute to get home, mandated at your job, deployed in the armed services & you are not home for months, if you are unsure of childbirth & your role in it, or if you want your partner/wife to be happy & less stressed; get a doula. Talk openly with the doula during the interview process & discuss YOUR concerns & YOUR goals. If cost is a factor, discuss this openly as well. Bold Doula works closely with the father-to-be in support & teamwork. A Bold Doula father is an empowered father! Go ahead, get a doula; your partner/wife will be thrilled! Surprise her with a birth doula as a special gift - she will ALWAYS remember it AND YOU!
Quote is taken from article: http://www.doulaspot.com/2014/11/a-mans-guide-to-doulas/