A Ticket To Ride

A Ticket To Ride

Denise Bolds, MSW, CD(DONA) October 13, 2015.

“She’s got a ticket to ride!

She’s got a ticket to ride!

She’s got a ticket to ride and she don’t care! The

My name is Denise Bolds; I am
a black 51-year-old Leo. According to DISC, I am a ‘D’ personality. Remember
that. I am a certified birth doula and placenta encapsulation specialist.

This year alone, I have spent
over $3,500 in doula related trainings; I am building my new business of 16
months.  Being in the birth profession is
not for the faint or the broke at heart for sure!

ProDoula is hosting their
first conference in Kansas October 15, 2015. It was discussed enthusiastically
at the first placenta encapsulation training I attended in Kansas in April
2015. I got my conference ticket at a discount, I had a dear friend Abbey offer
to share her hotel room with me – I was almost there! Life got in the way, I
got busy with births and trainings – I also attended an Advanced Business
Training with ProDoula as well.

Along this journey, I have
had signs of spiritual direction; I may be a dominate in personality, but I am
certain in my spirituality.  I am also
listening constantly. This year, not only has my business grown, I have as a Black
woman, mother and daughter grown spiritually.

By the time I was to get my
plane ticket, I had been spiritually shown many things in the doula world.  My budget did not look like it could support
another long distance trip/training. I contacted both Randy & Abbey to let
them know I wouldn’t make it – I cried. I’m a risk taker; surely I could pull
this off… I could sell a ring or two!

Randy called me personally
and gave me some tough love as well as validation that I deserved to be at this
conference. I really wanted to meet the guest speaker Cupcake Brown; she is my
hero for decades. Randy also gave me the sales pitch about having the
distinction of being able to say I attended the FIRST ProDoula conference.
Randy knew how to reach the ‘D’ in me – I told her I would come up with the
money for my flight – fuck everything else.

Ticket money now in my
business account, I proceeded to book my flight online. I ended up staying on
my Mac for over TWO HOURS going round in circles selecting flight times  - it got so convoluted, I called the travel
agent TWICE, only to have my calls drop BOTH TIMES. Finally, I got the flights
and went to pay with my credit card, the card would not go through, I try
several more times, I call the bank, I use my personal card, all to no avail, I
could not book the friggin flight!

I sat in turmoil; I wanted
this to happen, I MAKE things happen right? Suddenly, I went still. In that
stillness clarity came to me. When I stopped trying to dominate and go against
the flow, I understood what was before me. 
I accepted that I am simply not supposed to attend this event. It’s just
not my time. I have witnessed actions in this group that are not conducive to
who I am or where I am at this time – I need to sit this one out.

At first, I thought to sell
the conference ticket, I could not get a refund. I contacted both Abbey &
Randy again that I definitely could not make it and how could I get rid of this
ticket. It wasn’t a matter of getting rid of it – it was a matter of
surrendering.  What? I’m a ‘D’
personality. I don’t surrender anything!

At that point an epiphany hit
me: How did I get here? How did I get to this amazing year being a birth doula?
How did I get to this very breath I am taking right now? A few years ago, I was
given a free plane ticket to India – all I needed was to come up with the money
for hotel and food ($2,000) I sold my life insurance policy (If I was alive
upon my return I would get another) and my 30 year old solid gold high school
ring, a gift from my parents and I got a visa. My ass was on that plane without
hesitation. DOMINATE!

My trip to India was a
life-changing event all-possible by the kindness of a stranger and the
synchronicity of fate – I was able to get what I needed to go to India in SIX
DAYS!!!. This year spent busting my ass had come down to me surrendering to
karma and giving this opportunity to another the same way I received an
opportunity a few years ago that changed my life. I had to continue the wave of
karma. Giving up the ticket to ProDoula’s first conference was spiritually necessary.

Once I began the process to
give up the ticket, things became lighter. I held a raffle and there was a
winner; a complete stranger whom I’ve never spoken with before. She told me she
desperately wanted to go but could not afford to and gave up.  She won my ticket and she also got a free
plane ticket to travel with hotel stay. 
Did I mention I’m a dominate? When I do karma, it is BIG!

It is my sincere hope that
this opportunity will change this woman’s life as my own life was changed a few
years ago.  She now has a ticket to ride.
I appreciate Randy’s approach to me – it was the perfect sales pitch to incite
me to try my very best to be there – to be one of the first.

Do you remember my
description of myself? Yes, I am a Leo and a dominate in personality, my last
name also happens to be BOLD.  I have learned that while its great to be
first, its BOLD to be best. This all
turned out BOLD in the very best way.
Will my business fail because I didn’t attend? No – it just isn’t my time.  This BOLD
Leo ‘D’ is back on her grind!  My
business is Bold Doula. Remember that.