Denise Bolds MSW, CD(DONA)
January 1, 2016
I am often asked: “What is
Selah?” I smile to myself; Selah is my favorite word. I was
introduced to Selah in my twenties, I kept it close to me, I found myself
evolving within Selah.
Selah is a word found in the
bible. In the book of Psalms, Selah is used 71 times; it is a word
that is clearly not defined. One interpretation: Selah is a pause, a break
given by God, a spiritual interlude that is granted by God. For me, Selah is
where God is waiting for me, it is where all the mysteries of the universe are
clear, tangible and mine to explore. A sacred space within sacrednesss.
At 51 years old, my life so far is an amazing journey. Born in Harlem NY, raised in Hell’s Kitchen, NY by two
hard working parents from the south. I went to private schools and I lived in a
home where I wanted for nothing. I married, got divorced and while pregnant
with my only child, my son Jordan, I started my journey at age 26 as a
single black mother. My second marriage was to a physically abusive person whom
I also divorced. I moved to upstate New York with my son where I earned three college
degrees, owned my first home – a stunning Victorian and got nine tattoos. I
also became empowered both spiritually and intellectually; I became an author
and advocate, I came into my maternal inheritance of a healer. Selah humbled me
from my affluence upbringing; waited patiently when I jumped into the
cesspool of man for years, only to pull myself out, clean myself up and never
take myself or anything for granted.
My father passed away at age
52; my world forever changed by his sudden exit, the result of a brain
tumor. Selah was still there waiting on me. I finally acknowledged its
presence: I met a Yoruba Babalaow who taught me by introducing me to my
ancestors; my Selah stood up and applauded in happiness.
Selah was present as three of
my babies slipped from my body before they were fully formed and able to live
on their own. Selah became my sledgehammer, allowing me to break through being partially
and permanently handicapped.
The longest time I roamed in
Selah was after my son graduated from college with his master’s degree. I had
to figure out who I was, what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. My
pilgrimage to India amplified my Selah, I was spiritually stable, however I
still possessed a blockage.
Selah helped me face the
nine-year-old Denise who was molested by an adolescent during an over night
hospitalization stay. It was Selah who kept me safe and sane until I was ready
to listen to what the nine-year-old me had to say to myself. The little girl,
the nine-year-old Denise held onto this secret for over 40 years, revealing in
Selah when I turned 51. I am certain of my strength. Selah
commands certainty of me.
Selah teaches me, heals me,
evolves me. Selah is my passport to being a citizen of the universe. My work, my calling as a labor doula, mentor,
and teacher is Selah working through me.
Every woman I encounter in a birth I support, I witness Selah. The moment God grants that break, that space
where time is not relevant, where I am just a grain of sand on a beach, yet I
have never been more powerful in supporting a woman in labor; being a light in
a intimate but universal moment.
Selah is the break, the pause, the respite, the separation of human from spirit. Selah demands trust, accountability, transparency
and courage. Many may refer to Selah as
‘transitioning’ I know better. It is so
much deeper and infinitely unforgettable.
It was easy to name my business Bold Sealh, LLC:
my last name is ‘Bolds’. My purpose: to experience Selah as much as possible in my life. It is
my wish that every woman experience and remember Selah in her birth and in her journey of life. The mysterious break, the spiritual rest God gives is more than a gift. It is a
word without definition – Selah.
Bold Selah, LLC.